Buffy abuses Spike?!

It's a hard truth to accept.

I've read alot of articles about Buffy (which is my #1 favorite show in the entire planet, thanks!) and her relationships, how empowering she is, which of course I agree with. I have my favorite Buffy moments and my least favorite moments.

I am even a big Spike and Buffy fan, but in Season 6 we see a lot of how bad, confused Buffy feels as she tries to find her way from Heaven to hell on Earth. To growing up and getting her feet on the ground.

But I've never heard (or read an article) about how Buffy treats Spike.

It started in season 5, but by season 6 it was far worse. Spike manipulates Buffy to some extent. Pulls her away from her friends and into the dark (which she wants to be, which is up for debate, of course)

But Buffy, well, she punches Spike in the face. Alot. She berates and demeans him, all the while sneaking off to have sex with him. She has super power and he, well can't even touch her because of that blasted chip in his head.

When Spike tries to rape Buffy (which is a nasty we need to get Spike from plot point A to B, as far as I'm concerned) just about everyone was upset. But no one ever gets upset that Buffy, a heroine and powerful one at that, a role model for young girl's everywhere, is downward spiraling to being abusive to her....um...sex partner.

Does Buffy get a pass because she's a girl? If she does, how does that effect her empowering message? Or is she just someone who lost her way and then deserves forgiveness even if she never asks for it?